July 15, 2013

Government declares puppies illegal

The following text is satirical. Do not mistake for reality.

Reacting to Narendra Modi’s statements about killing puppies with chauffeur driven cars, the Congress was quick to react by declaring puppies communal and illegal. 

Calling a quick press conference in response to the God given opportunity Mr. Modi’s comment had provided, Mr. Abhishek Manu Singhvi, the Congress spokesperson (better known for his starring role in a doctored MMS) jumped up and down with glee for a full ten minutes after which he said, “We will now remove the CBI from the Ishrat Jahaan case and get them to investigate how many puppies Mr. Modi has killed in the last year. We also declare all puppies communally motivated and condemn their role in the Hindutva movement.”

With minutes of the speech airing on TV, the hashtag “#puppy” started trending on Twitter. The Prime Minister’s Office was quick to issue a statement via Twitter- “Mr. Gandhi is called #Pappu, not #Puppy. BJP get your facts right!” The tweet was however inexplicably deleted within a few minutes. 

By evening, the Wikipedia page of “Puppy” had a section on Narendra Modi and PETA had appointed Mr. Modi as a brand ambassador. “No one really cares about puppies killed by politicians’ cars,” a PETA spokesperson said, “or politicians or their cars for that matter. But this gives us an excellent opportunity to highlight the issue of unprotected sex amongst stray dogs, which in turn leads to the puppies Mr. Modi keeps killing.”

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