Inspired by Preity Zinta’s fiance ‘Gene Goodenough’, Rakhi Sawant announces engagement to ‘Chromosome Muchbetter’

Satire.

Mumbai: Sensing an opportunity to get some publicity, drama queen Rakhi Sawant today announced that she would be finally getting engaged, putting an end to rumors about a possible second season of Rakhi ka Swayamwar.

Apparently, inspired by Preity Zinta having a fiance called ‘Gene Goodenough’, Rakhi Sawant declared that she too had a fiance and that too one with a much better name than Ms. Zinta’s.
At a recently held Bollywood award ceremony where Ms. Sawant landed up without invitation, she announced that her fiance was a businessman from ‘Antarctica’ and his name was ‘Chromosome Muchbetter'.

“Chromosome is the man of my dreams,” Rakhi said, in an exclusive chat with this Faking News reporter.

“He is big and fit and makes money doing something in Antarctica. He is the best. This Preity might have found a good-enough guy, but my fiance is much better! Aajkal acche chromosome milte kaha hai,” she said almost ruing the fact that women have few choices when it comes to choosing the right man.

“Look how big diamond ring he gives me! Look!” she exclaimed, flashing her ring finger in front of this reporter, pronouncing “diamond” as “daamond”.

“Har aurat yehi chahti hai uska pati baaki sab se behtar ho. Now if any woman praises her husband, I can say that mine is Muchbetter,” she said with an animated face.

Maenwhile, a guy named DNA AlmostPerfect has reportedly lodged a complaint against ‘unknown woman’ for pestering him with marriage proposals. “Yes, it’s true. Since the time Priety Zinta got married, I am being harassed by women who want me to get married to them. Now I am seriously thinking of getting my name changed,” he said with a worried look on his face.

http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2016/03/inspired-by-preity-zintas-fiance-gene-goodenough-rakhi-sawant-announces-engagement-to-chromosome-muchbetter/

Tainted by Panama Papers, ex-Iceland PM to be allowed to resume office after saying “Iceland Mata ki Jai”

Satire...

Reykjavik, Iceland: The ruling Icelandic coalition today permitted Sigmundur David Gunnlaugsson to resume office after he publicly said, “Iceland Mata Ki Jai” (“Victory for Mother Iceland”)! Though an interim Prime Minister (Fisheries Minister, Sigurdur Ingi Johannsson) had been named, Gunnlaugsson was immediately reinstated after his proclamation of the greatness of “Iceland Mata”.
Gunnlaugsson had earlier resigned on Tuesday, after documents leaked from a Panama-based law firm revealed that his wife possessed a secret offshore account worth millions of dollars.

“Yes, Gunnlaugsson has been reinstated,” a spokesperson for the Icelandic government said, “His wife might have stashed some money away in Panama but that is all irrelevant now. He has said Iceland Mata Ki Jai. All is now forgiven.”

Meanwhile, Panama – the country in the eye of the Panama Papers storm – has sought to move the United Nations to seek suspension of investigations against accountholders of the more than two hundred thousand entities associated with Mossack Fonseca, if they say the same incantation for their own countries.

http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2016/04/12/tainted-by-panama-papers-ex-iceland-pm-to-be-allowed-to-resume-office-after-saying-iceland-mata-ki-jai/