The unfortunate truth is that today anybody can get published. That, of course, includes me.
I am now in the midst of hundreds (maybe thousands) of authors- most of whom do not even know the very basics of the English language. English is subverted, perverted, converted by people who, in my opinion, should- be made to stand in one straight line against a brick wall and shot to death- not allowed to write books and call themselves authors. To bend the rules, you have to learn them first, kids!
The sad part of all this is that people today ask me "So, yours is a 100 rupee book too?" Those ruddy 100 rupee books with "Love" in their titles and a picture of a couple kissing/ hugging/ fornicating on their covers with what passes as English today underneath. Smiling pictures of "authors" on the inside jacket, orgasming at the thought of their semi-autobiographical piece of semi-pornographic trash set at large for the whole world to tolerate.
I am not one of those people who go through life reading books or listening to music just so that they can show off in front of others. I intrinsically understand beauty. I have not read Neruda or Dostoevsky; but I have read more books in my 25 years than most people will read in their lifetimes. But still, I do not speak from a position of authority; only from a position of mind numbing frustration.
You want to write to book?
Go home, kid. Learn some grammar first.
Well written Vaibhav.
ReplyDeleteThe purpose of lining them up against a brick wall, which I hope will be painted white, is to able to see the splatter of red. Vaibhav can be really mean.
ReplyDeleteI think the one person or phenomenon that has been at the root of “I-am-too-an author-with-my-spurious-English” syndrome is a character called Chetan Bhagat. No malice intended.
A majority of dullards who never picked up a book in their life have debuted by reading Five Point someone. That is where the genesis of the malaise lies.
It was probably the first book of its time that dealt with college life, more specifically centered around the hallowed portals of the IITs. It de-iconized the “geniuses” as losers who bumbled and grumbled. Many youngsters related to it. Though it made a delightful one time read, it was written in very simplistic English, with a good measure of “fucks” and “screwed” thrown in. Many, began fantasizing that they too could write a story and get it published, for they fully believed they had one, with minimal grip over the language .All that it needed was some useless biographical banter interwoven with a tale of romance.
Chetan Bhagat went on to become a bestseller; dimwits hailed him as authority on novel writing. He wrote a couple of more books ; people gulped it down too. Their novels read-count increased to three. Rupa Publishing did brisk business; many other publishers thought of it as a success formula .
Morons have come up to me and asked if Rushdie (my fault for bringing him in public circles) was a bigger deal than Bhagat. Answering this is tougher than what they would encounter if ever they get themselves to comprehend the constructs of his prose.
It is therefore even more perplexing when a reviewer writes that Vaibhav”…has a long way to go before he comes close to the likes of Chetan Bhagat” before attributing appreciation. For those who don’t know, will soon find out that this bloke is way classier .
(Sorry Chetan. Though it is not your fault, I couldn’t find a better context to slam you).
Thanks man. Am reading this and smiling. As always, you are too kind.
ReplyDeleteI have mixed feelings about Mr. Bhagat. He writes trash but he sells. And undoubtedly he opened the publishers up to first time writers like me. In a pre- Bhagat world, my manuscript would never have been accepted in a day and a half!
Also, there are worse evils than Bhagat in the literary world. For all his lack of vocabulary & expression, Bhagat is at least (generally) grammatically correct as also moderately entertaining. I must say I liked '5 point someone' (more because I was an engineer myself) but of course, the follow ups got a tad trashier. Can't really say if the same won't happen to me for all my vocabulary and poetry and whatnot.
My anger is more towards these random jokers I encounter everyday- one of whom- a 22 year old male three years younger than me- has written a "Dating Guide"! The excerpts are hilariously bad.
Being a purist when it comes to language, I agree with what Vaibhav has to say... And Anand... that's a very good comment. Never could understand what makes Chetan Bhagat a bestseller. I almost always wince at his shallowness.
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