July 4, 2013

Congress to visit IIMs during placement season

Two in two days... another satirical piece. 

The Congress party has decided to visit the IIMs for placements this year- HRD Minister Kapil Sibal said today. The job on offer would be that of a body double for Rahul Gandhi.

“Rahul baba likes to visit the wealthiest countries of the world every month to study poverty there and apply the principles to Amethi,” Sibal said in a press conference today. “And whenever he is gone, there is either a national calamity or people like Narendra Modi and Arvind Kejriwal come out and make some new allegations against baba. So we have decided to hire a body double for Rahul baba from one of the IIMs- someone who can stand silently beside Madamji in public outings and make token gestures like flagging off trucks without causing much hullaballoo.”

Reacting to a question at the conference about the ethics of such a move, Mr. Sibal fumed, “All the best leaders in the world have used body doubles. Look at Saddam, Gaddafi… why should we be any different? After all, we have been using computer generated animation to represent Manmohan Singh on national television for a long time now and no one seems to have noticed!”

Taking a potshot at Mr. Modi, Mr. Sibal said, “Now who is doing work for the economy now, eh? Congress is the one doing real Bharat Nirman… we are the ones creating real jobs like this!”

Shyamlal, a final year student at IIM- Indore and also the placement convener for the institute, is looking forward to Congress visiting the campus and has already marked the job as his dream role. “Whoever is selected will just have to stand and wave and cut ribbons and take aerial surveys when Mr. Gandhi is away on his world tours,” he said. “How difficult can that be? It’s a dream job!” he gushed. According to Shyamlal, people at the campus have already started preparing hard for the role- by standing for long hours in front of the institute’s toilet mirrors with an expression of confusion on their faces or reading up on bees and hives.

When questioned on the development, the computer generated 3D hologram of Manmohan Singh flickered wildly and said meekly, “Theek hai.”

http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2013/07/04/congress-to-visit-iims-during-placement-season/

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