July 3, 2013

Congress to pass ordinance to trademark the word Pappu

My satirical contribution to FakingNews. Written late at night dead tired from office... ignore the one or two grammatical inconsistencies please.

In a recent development, veteran Congress leader Digvijay Singh has revealed that Congress has trademarked the name “Pappu” and an ordinance will soon be written into law to enforce the same.
Mr. Singh, who had inexplicably tweeted “Hahaha! Pappu can’t dance saala” on the day “PappuCII” started trending on Twitter, said that an empowered Group of Ministers would be meeting soon to discuss the addendum in the Indian Copyrights & Patents Act of 1887. Mr. Singh revealed that the motive behind the move was to ensure that Rahul Gandhi was not called by a name as derogatory as “Pappu” but by names that fostered sycophancy better within the Congress party such as “Baba”, “Yuvraj” or “That Congress Dude”.

The ordinance is reported to allow everyone named Pappu in India to change their names within a year of being written into law, failing which they would have to pay a service tax of Rs. 10,000 every year for use of the name. The option with the non Congress Pappu’s, as per a source in the Gandhi household, would be to either pay tax or be known by their Aadhar Card Numbers. Pappu Prasad (or AIH1234PA as he will be known after the ordinance is passed), a vegetable seller in east Delhi, had this to say to us: “This is grossly unfair! How is it our fault that some useless Congress leader is being called ‘Pappu’?”

Mr. Singh also told this FakingNews reporter that people who had already used the name “Pappu” in a derogatory manner would be taxed Rs. 10,000 each for each use as the ordinance would be, like all great Indian laws enforced by the great Congress party, retroactive in effect. As per the calculations of this reporter, the tax hit to the BJP would be the tune of crores and certain outspoken TV journalists like Arnab Goswami are also expected to be taxed. Expectedly, Arnab Goswami launched into a tirade against the Congress Party and refused to pay up, unless the Congress promised to run their ‘Bharat Nirman’ ads (spoofs) on his channel.

BJP Leader Meenakshi Lekhi had this to say to this latest development, “But what about Rambo? Can we go ahead and trademark that as well?”

Meanwhile, the middle aged youth leader in question scratched his head and said that he was unavailable for comment.

http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2013/07/03/congress-to-pass-ordinance-to-trademark-the-word-pappu/

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