Nation should use horses for travel not cars: Veerappa Moily

My satirical riposte to Mr. Moily's suggestion that a curfew should be imposed on petrol pumps.

In a televised statement, the country’s Oil Minister- Mr. Veerappa Moily has urged people to use horses, elephants and buffaloes for travel instead of vehicles. “There are various austerity ideas that have been floated,” Mr. Moily said, poking his head out of his large petrol guzzling SUV, “but I think this one is the best. We might even be bringing an ordinance to enforce this soon.”

As per a UPA insider, the scheme, which is being tentatively called “Rajiv Gandhi Janwaar Yogdaan Yojna”, shall replace all vehicles on roads with farm animals to reduce the oil subsidy bill. Buses would be replaced with elephants, four wheelers with horses and two wheelers with either buffaloes or donkeys. This ‘upgrade’ is proposed to be free of cost to the Indian citizens.

“All swaps shall be free of cost- so I don’t think any citizen would complain,” the insider who refused to be named said. “We would be setting up a supply chain, nominating animal distributors in each district and importing farm animals to meet this upcoming demand.” When pointed out that this might create a new animal subsidy bill that would in turn end up damaging the economy as badly as the oil subsidy bill, the insider smiled and said, “Ah yes! But by that time, we might not be in power. In any case, there will be one more scheme with Rajiv Gandhi’s name in it in this country and that shall give Madamji immense happiness.”

http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2013/09/02/nation-should-use-horses-for-travel-not-cars-veerappa-moily/