Satire...
New Delhi: Arnab Goswami – the famed conductor of and primary noise generator on the daily Newshour debate on the Times Now news channel – today declared that he was the winner of all past and future Newshour debates. Mr. Goswami made the claim in a debate today on the channel when a panelist questioned his authority on the issue being debated.
It was a normal noisy hour on the Newshour debate on the topic of
whether the NDA government was better or the preceding UPA government,
when suddenly, reacting to a question from Congress spokesperson Randeep
Singh Surjewalla, Mr. Goswami declared that he was the winner of all
past and future Newshour debates and thus had authority over any and
every issue. This led to another round of simultaneous speaking by three
of the five panelists with no one able to understand what was being
said. According to eyewitnesses at the studio however, it seems Mr.
Goswami kept enunciating repeatedly, “You question me? I am the winner
of all Newshour debates… I am the winner… I am the winner.”
Tadapit Bannerjea, a C.R. Park resident and regular viewer of Newshour, said, “I usually watch Newshour because it generates so much white noise that it covers up the sound of the disco next door and I can sleep in peace. But today I could not sleep… Ornob-da has finally said he is the winner! We are all so proud!”
Reportedly, Mr. Goswami will conduct the show from today onwards wearing a sash saying “WINNER!” in bold.
http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2016/01/arnab-goswami-declares-himself-winner-of-all-past-and-future-newshour-debates/
New Delhi: Arnab Goswami – the famed conductor of and primary noise generator on the daily Newshour debate on the Times Now news channel – today declared that he was the winner of all past and future Newshour debates. Mr. Goswami made the claim in a debate today on the channel when a panelist questioned his authority on the issue being debated.
It was a normal noisy hour on the Newshour debate on the topic of
whether the NDA government was better or the preceding UPA government,
when suddenly, reacting to a question from Congress spokesperson Randeep
Singh Surjewalla, Mr. Goswami declared that he was the winner of all
past and future Newshour debates and thus had authority over any and
every issue. This led to another round of simultaneous speaking by three
of the five panelists with no one able to understand what was being
said. According to eyewitnesses at the studio however, it seems Mr.
Goswami kept enunciating repeatedly, “You question me? I am the winner
of all Newshour debates… I am the winner… I am the winner.”Tadapit Bannerjea, a C.R. Park resident and regular viewer of Newshour, said, “I usually watch Newshour because it generates so much white noise that it covers up the sound of the disco next door and I can sleep in peace. But today I could not sleep… Ornob-da has finally said he is the winner! We are all so proud!”
Reportedly, Mr. Goswami will conduct the show from today onwards wearing a sash saying “WINNER!” in bold.
http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2016/01/arnab-goswami-declares-himself-winner-of-all-past-and-future-newshour-debates/
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