March 4, 2015

Abuse part of my fitness regimen, no malicious intent behind abusing journalist: Kohli

Inspired by the events of the day! Satire.

Australia: After reports emerged of Virat Kohli having abused a journalist profusely (and that too the
wrong journalist), the Indian vice captain chose to clear the air with an interview. Speaking exclusively to this Faking News reporter, Kohli said that his swearing was part of an intricate regimen that helped him stay in shape as a cricketer.

“Ever since I was a little kid, I have been beginning my days with a phir subah ho gayee benc**d or iss alarm clock kee to maa kee… There’s nothing new in this,” Kohli said in an interview with this Faking News reporter. “I do 100 reps of ma*arc**d, 50 reps of benc**d and 50 reps of suar ka pattha everyday. It is a part of my exercise regimen.”


“To be frank, I did not even know the journalist,” Kohli continued. “He just walked up real close to me when I was doing my set of ma*arc**d reps… So he got the full blast. Nothing I can do about it. This guy should have been more careful.”

Meanwhile, Congress raised the issue in the Rajya Sabha and wondered why the Prime Minister was silent on the issue. “The PM should resign,” Sanjay Jha, Congress spokesperson said.

http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/03/04/abuse-part-of-my-fitness-regimen-no-malicious-intent-behind-abusing-journalist-kohli/

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