After declaring Kashmir a part of Pakistan, Bilawal Bhutto declares his shoes a part of his body

A toast to the 'Rahul Gandhi' of Pakistan! Satire.

Islamabad: Just a day after declaring that Kashmir belonged to and was a part of Pakistan, an inspired Bilawal Bhutto – heir apparent of the Bhutto political dynasty in Pakistan – declared that his shoes were also a part of his body now.

The comment came in the wake of Bilawal claiming Kashmir was a part of Pakistan and that he would recover every inch of it.

“Right now, my shoes say ‘Jimmy Choo’ at the bottom,” Bhutto said. “But they are my shoes, so how can they belong to this Choo person? I hereby declare that every inch of my shoes is an unmistakeable and irrefutable part of my body.”

Bhutto made the comment at a rally attended by supporters of his party. The fact that he chose to not claim his socks as a part of his body is being seen as a serious indicator of his vision on the geopolitics of the region, by the Pakistani media.

“The socks are like Taliban… so he doesn’t really care about that,” a leading Pakistani news commentator said.

http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/09/23/after-declaring-kashmir-a-part-of-pakistan-bilawal-bhutto-declares-his-shoes-a-part-of-his-body/

Engineer becomes convinced he’s an MBA after reading “Ten signs you are from IIM-A”

Dedicated to all the people who keep posting 'Ten signs you are XYZ' on my Facebook timeline

New Delhi. Tadapit Kumar, a software engineer working out of Gurgaon, became one of the first official victims of ‘List’ sites after he started believing that he was an MBA from IIM-A after reading an article on the sites.

“It is cool, no?” Tadapit said to this Faking News reporter, “I thought I would have to take CAT and clear all those GD and PI rounds… but now, from this site, I know I am already from IIMA!”

“If it is on the internet, it has to be true, yaar!” he added.

“We are seeing several cases of people trying to do things after reading them in lists,” Dr. Chugh, a renowned psychiatrist said in an exclusive chat with this reporter, “For example, a lot of my fellow psychiatrist friends have started growing their hair and beards long after reading ‘Fifteen signs you are a psychiatrist’. But this is the first case of reverse ‘list-osis’ we are seeing. I spoke to this guy, Tadapit on the phone and he genuinely believes he is from IIM-A, even to the extent of telling me that he had a hot steamy relationship with Alia Bhatt on campus.”

“Yes yes, we did get this engineer fellow claiming he was an MBA from IIMA,” Chaddha, a senior HR executive at an MNC firm said. “He kept saying ‘CV pe nahin hai to kya hua, internet pe toh hai.’”

http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/09/engineer-becomes-convinced-hes-an-mba-after-reading-ten-signs-you-are-from-iim-a/

The "Book Bucket" Challenge

Thanks to all the people who inundated my Facebook timeline by bathing with their clothes on or telling the world the most pretentious books they could think of, that they had read. Without Facebook, I would not have known my friends needed a bath so badly or were so well read. Someone tagged me somewhere, so here are my ten books for the book challenge thing.

1. Brilliant Tutorials: The maths book with integration. If JEE 2008 had only integration questions, I would have been AIR 1. I could integrate air in 2008.

2. How to C by some Kanitkar fellow: I learnt C and C++ and promptly forgot them. TCS still hired me. Major life lesson learnt.

3. NIIT’s books on Java: I even paid NIIT for some Java course and promptly forgot Java before placements. I also bought a green fluorescent marker when I started studying Java. I left it open once and it went dry. I lost all interest in Java after that.

4. Kotler’s Marketing book: It had nice photos. I had a look at the photos and wanted to do marketing then. Then a bank hired me from B-school.

5. Solomon and Solomon on organic chemistry: By far the most boring book in the world but very thick and good for playing book cricket. Was also later used to prop up the screen of my desktop computer.

6. Resnick and Halladay: Deceptively thin book but still usable for book cricket and desktop screen propping up. I did not get beyond the preface.

7. FIITJEE’s book on fluid dynamics: I never understood fluid dynamics. I tried really hard but I never could. But the book had some cool diagrams. I always thought that the people who could make head or tail of those cool diagrams would be really cool people. Who knows, they probably were.

8. Jain and Jain: Useful all through four years of my engineering. And eventually, third and final book on which desktop was propped up.

9. Naagraj: Dohri Maut: Superbad comic book and decently fascinating. Indian comic book writing is underrated.

10. My own book: Oh and I wrote this book in B-school. I like to read passages from it when I am feeling nostalgic.

Cough Syrup Challenge launched for people falling ill from Ice Bucket Challenge

 Dedicated to all my friends who do not know the full form of ALS but took the ice bucket challenge anyway. Satire.

New Delhi. As the Ice Bucket Challenge mania spread to India, oncoming monsoon rains and the profusion of disease-inducing microbes in the air has meant that several people taking the ice-bucket challenge have begun to fall ill. This has led to doctors prescribing something that is being called the ‘Cough Syrup Challenge’ for people falling ill from the Ice Bucket Challenge.

“We are getting about a hundred cases everyday, of people getting cough, cold and fever, and even the odd case of pneumonia from taking this ice-bucket challenge,” Dr. Chaddha, a senior doctor at AIIMS said.

“We have launched the ‘Cough Syrup Challenge’ to tackle this epidemic. Everyone suffering from fever after the ice-bucket dunking is supposed to finish a bottle of cough syrup in one go. We hope this will raise awareness for the damage that can be caused by bathing in ice cold water,” Dr. Chaddha added.

“Who is this ALS disease, jee?” Tadapit Kumar, a college student and avid Facebooker asked this Faking News reporter from his hospital bed, “I only took the challenge because this girl I like, Sakshi, asked me to. I hadn’t bathed in six days anyway; so I thought two birds with one stone. But now I have gotten this stupid fever…”

“The doctor tells me I got a viral fever from the ice bucket challenge and has prescribed me this cough syrup challenge,” Tadapit revealed, “Ab Facebook pe kya likhoon? Ice bucket made me sick? What will Sakshi think?”

“I wish at least I had gotten some famous illness which Sakshi would have read of,” Tadapit added, “Ebola types.”

http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/09/cough-syrup-challenge-launched-for-people-falling-ill-from-ice-bucket-challenge/