Arnab Goswami found resolving gully-cricket disputes in his free time

Satire.

New Delhi: Reports coming in from a swanky neighborhood in South Delhi have indicated that Arnab Goswami, the face and voice of Times Now, was resolving gully-cricket disputes in his free time.

Sources from within Mr. Goswami’s domestic staff have revealed that the fiery newsreader was merely asked to leave the house for some time so that there could be some peace as he had apparently been inciting quarrels between his family members at the breakfast table.

“Yes yes we are very proud of him,” Mr. Aggarwal – security guard at the mohalla park – said. “In fact in his childhood, Arnab used to make sure that his team got batting in both innings. Since then, he has been resolving cricket conflicts in our streets or the local mohalla park.”

“No, no,” Mr. Goswami was overheard shouting, from a considerable distance. “I am a respected journalist with honesty… integrity… sincerity and I will not be party to your accusations. First you must answer me, Mr. Pappu of Terah number gully, what right do you have to claim whose batting it is?”

Meanwhile, Rajdeep Sardesai was found peddling his book in the same park.

http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/02/22/arnab-goswami-found-resolving-gully-cricket-disputes-in-his-free-time/

‘Game of Thrones’ fan depressed that people around him not dying often enough

Satire.

Gurgaon: A software engineer and ardent ‘Game of Thrones’ fan recently checked into a hospital, suffering from severe depression. Apparently, Tadapit Kumar, the software engineer in question was depressed about the fact that the people in his life were not dying at the same frequency and with the same brutality as the characters on his favorite TV show.

“I have been watching Game of Thrones for two years now and by now, I am used to a brutal death in every episode,” Tadapit said. “Earlier, for the first three episodes or so, I had my favorite characters but all of them died eventually – so, death itself has become my favorite event on the show.”

“Yes, yes, it is quite a common phenomenon now,” Dr. Chugh, a famous Delhi based psychiatrist said. “We are calling this ‘Game of Thrones Mania’, for the lack of a better phrase. The only cure we have discovered so far is showing people addicted to the show, one episode of Ballika Vadhu… most of them become suicidal instead of bloodthirsty, thereafter.”

“I was surprised when people around me did not die as much or with the same brutality,” Tadapit concluded dejectedly. “Only my neighbor, Sharma uncle, has died ever since I started watching the show and he passed away peacefully his sleep at the age of 105.”

http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/02/01/game-of-thrones-fan-depressed-that-people-around-him-not-dying-often-enough/