Dedicated to all my 'Facebook runner' friends... Satire.
Gurgaon: A Gurgaon based professional has adopted a unique strategy to tackle the peer pressure exerted on him to burn calories on social media, i.e. switching on his fitness app while driving to and from work. Tadapit Kumar, an MNC executive and IIM Ahmedabad passout, adopted the new strategy after realizing that his job didn’t permit him to burn as many calories as his Facebook friends.
“I am part of this Gurgaon Running and Living Group because my girlfriend forced me to join… And all these people with seemingly nothing else to do in life keep posting that they burnt 5000 calories after running 25 kilometres,” Tadapit said to this Faking News reporter agitatedly. “Arre bhai, if you can run 25 kilometres without stopping, toh gaadee bech do OLX pe. Use your legs to ferry yourself and other people from point A to point B. Why put such a stupid thing up on Facebook?”
“My Maruti Zen car has run 150,000 kilometres,” Tadapit added. “Do you see it posting this on Facebook? Burnt 20 million calories while ferrying owner around for 150,000 kilometres. Now help owner ‘fake’ burn calories so that his girlfriend would stop pestering him.”
“I work 80 hour weeks and need to conserve all the energy I have left after that to have sex with my girlfriend instead of running, so spare me this nonsense!” Tadapit exclaimed.
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/12/09/to-burn-calories-faster-man-takes-gps-tracker-for-a-drive/
Gurgaon: A Gurgaon based professional has adopted a unique strategy to tackle the peer pressure exerted on him to burn calories on social media, i.e. switching on his fitness app while driving to and from work. Tadapit Kumar, an MNC executive and IIM Ahmedabad passout, adopted the new strategy after realizing that his job didn’t permit him to burn as many calories as his Facebook friends.
“I am part of this Gurgaon Running and Living Group because my girlfriend forced me to join… And all these people with seemingly nothing else to do in life keep posting that they burnt 5000 calories after running 25 kilometres,” Tadapit said to this Faking News reporter agitatedly. “Arre bhai, if you can run 25 kilometres without stopping, toh gaadee bech do OLX pe. Use your legs to ferry yourself and other people from point A to point B. Why put such a stupid thing up on Facebook?”
“My Maruti Zen car has run 150,000 kilometres,” Tadapit added. “Do you see it posting this on Facebook? Burnt 20 million calories while ferrying owner around for 150,000 kilometres. Now help owner ‘fake’ burn calories so that his girlfriend would stop pestering him.”
“I work 80 hour weeks and need to conserve all the energy I have left after that to have sex with my girlfriend instead of running, so spare me this nonsense!” Tadapit exclaimed.
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/12/09/to-burn-calories-faster-man-takes-gps-tracker-for-a-drive/
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